Meaningless Friendships & Hobbies

 "If we continue to nourish the demons, when will we slay them? If we let our mind dwell on actions and thoughts related to meaningless friendships and habits, when will we mortify the will of the flesh? When will we live the Christ-like life to which we have committed ourselves?"

Theoleptos, Metropolitan of Philadelphia, in The Philokalia, Vol. IV

This text is originally intended for monastics, like the whole of the Philokalia, but we are all entitled to the knowledge and the advice. Obviously, we are not as advanced as these men, and it shocks us to hear about thinking of any friendship or habit as meaningless... 

But, for a minute, we can understand Christ is absolutely everything, and if we do well our fate will be to spend eternity with God and His Angels and Saints, achieving a state of theosis... 

Now, we must see our own friendships with people in this context, and understand that part of our mission in the world ought to be influential in showing people the positivity of God. So, can friendships that result in an explicitly bad or compromising influence on us be good? Of course not. 

Let us also understand that the monks reading this would be in a situation where they are almost exclusively meeting other monks. It is easier for them to give up a friendship at the drop of a hat because they are dealing with other people who are working out their salvation with Christ. 

So, I think it is unnecessary for us to be overly picky in our friendships, but we should be discerning. 

As far as habits go, we should truly reflect on what we are doing. Is it meaningless? Well, we should consider our level of attachment to it, and whether or not it is proving to benefit ourselves and our overall life goal of being a positive influence for Christ. 

It immediately makes me think of my own hobbies... Yes, definitely some of my hobbies seem like a waste of time in the sense that they are just meaningless exercises. I should definitely consider reforming them. But it is also the case that my hobbies can make me closer to other people or provide a very useful way to free my mind and relax. 

In our context, a meaningless hobby would be one that cannot add utility to ourselves or others. In this context, since you are likely more effective & better at socializing and being with others when you are well rested and in a relaxed state, it makes sense to have a nice hobby, does it not? Even if it is one that seems like a time waster to others, it is good if it is calming for yourself. But, if it is not calming, if it is disruptive, it should be cut out. 

Certainly, it is also the case that we ought to choose the more meaningful hobby over the less meaningful whenever that is also possible. 

And, as Met. Theoleptos lastly implies, we need to think about when we will live in a committed way to Christ. Even though we have not reached such a high level of commitment as a monk, we certainly have room to reevaluate our own levels of commitment, and to up our ante.